My Sacrifice
by SaturnOolaa
Summary: Eriol returns and discovers that some little things have changed. About worship, obsession, and the lengths you would take to save someone from themself. (S+E, semi-S+S. Details inside.)
1. We Meet Again

Disc: Not mine.  
AN: And here we have the fanfic that officially Ate My Brain. It was started due to my sorrows at finding nothing but hetfic in the CCS section, and while hetfic is all well and good and usually canon, it just didn't seem fair. So here we have either a tragic S+S or a rather bittersweet E+S. That's Eriol/Syaoran, folks, and while there's not much of it in this part there will be. Part one of three, simply for my own convinience. Manga continuity. Nine or ten years post series. Nadeshiko's part is rather out of place. Aside from the guitar intro, I don't like this song all that much. I don't think this would happen. I'm a devout S+S fan, so don't hit me too hard. Writing relationship mystery is fun, isn't it?  
  
MY SACRIFICE  
1: WE WEET AGAIN  
  
Going, going, gone.  
  
She had packed her bags earlier that day; stuffed what she was taking in with plenty of room for breathing; left a little note on the kitchen counter; given her forwarding address to the one person she trusted not to give it out freely. She had taken only what she couldn't stand to leave behind- and some things that she wished could come with her were still here. Now, like a thief in the night, she was leaving.  
  
Her feet padded softly on the carpeted hall. She stopped, left her bags at the door, and ran back one last time. The very last time she would ever see the house she had bought what seemed like forever ago.  
  
Her hands, warm and graceful yet, brushed over everything from the walls to the toaster to the armchair near the fireplace. The lump in her throat was expanding slowly and threatening to betray her- the inhabitants of the house tended to sleep light. She crept upstairs, padded to one of the doors, turned the knob as lightly as she could possibly touch it.  
  
He was sleeping soundly for the first time in ages. Breathing deep and even, stray strands of hair brushing over his forehead, chest rising and falling in perfect balance. He looked like a painting- the sheets were unrumpled, the moonlight from the window casting shadows on his face. On the dresser was a picture taken that summer, standing alone like a shrine.  
  
She turned it face-down and turned to him, longing for the assurance that she could safely touch him without waking him up. As it was she could barely speak. Her eyes went wet, and for a moment she wondered if it would really be so bad to just stay and let things be the way they were...  
  
But she forced herself to glance at the unseen photograph, and her eyes hardened again in resolve. She was doing the right thing. For his sake and for her own. This had to stop, somehow, and it was up to her to put things right. He would live.   
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stared at his face one last time. "I just couldn't be your god..."  
  
She left the room as her feelings threatened to overpower her logic. Taking the stairs two at a time like a child, hopping to the door, grabbing her bags and stepping out into the chill of the autumn night.   
  
The moon, full in another week, shone down and bathed her with light. It was almost holy, standing there alone with the white coat she'd been given for her eighteenth birthday, with the moon warming her and giving her a silver-blue blessing. She took a deep breath, night air whispering in her nostrils, and stepped out onto the street.  
  
And Kinomoto Sakura left.  
  
***  
  
Eriol had been sitting outside the airport for some time, folding an autumn-gold leaf into even parts to occupy his hands, before a sleek black limo pulled up and Daidouji Tomoyo emerged.  
  
She hadn't changed much in the few years since he'd last been to Tomoeda. Her hair was still long, held up in a loose deep maroon-coloured braid that made her look almost childish. She wore a tight fitting business suit now, in deference to her position. Her eyes, Eriol noted, were the same as always- gentle and warm and giving away almost nothing.  
  
Tomoyo recognized his gaze and smiled. "You haven't changed either, Eriol-kun," she started softly. "I'm nineteen now, in case you were going to ask. The same as you. Well, the same as that body of yours, at least."  
  
"Don't worry," responded Eriol. "I remember. It's been quite a while, hasn't it, Tomoyo-san? Three years or so since I last visited Japan?"  
  
She nodded. "About that." As she sized him up, her face drew into a genuine smile- an initiation of mental truce. "It's good to see you again, Eriol-kun." Her chauffeur opened the limo door for both of them, and she beckoned him to get in.  
  
The two seated themselves and the car started off. Tomoyo offered him a glass of water (she didn't drink, he knew that) and sipped politely as they talked.   
  
"So," he started. "I'm sure a lot of things have happened in three years, even in a small town like this- your fashion line is selling well, isn't it?" She nodded. "That's good to hear. I've seen it in some of the upscale places in London. It's very nice, really, even if you do seem to have a penchant for ribbons. How is Sakura-san?"  
  
Tomoyo, who had previously been nodding and smiling, sobered as if there was a raincloud over her head. "Sakura-chan is..." she started slowly. "Sakura-chan is gone. She moved to America a few weeks ago."  
  
Eriol gave her a sympathetic and slightly confused smile. "And she didn't tell me? Tomoyo-san, are you joking?"  
  
"She didn't tell anyone," responded Tomoyo. Her eyes were almost too bright, if you deigned to look closely. "She left a note and went in the middle of the night. She said she found a good college and she'll be staying in the dorm. She took Kero-chan with her."  
  
"But... why?" he asked, almost nervous. Sakura always had some kind of reasoning for what she did, but this- what could happen that would send her so far away from her hometown?  
  
Tomoyo offered him a weak smile. "I told you. She found a good college. That was all she left on her note. I do have a forwarding address... But it's classified information. She doesn't want many people knowing, she says. They might want to visit."  
  
"I see." Eriol adjusted his glasses, brow furrowing slightly. "That's unfortunate to hear. How's Li-kun taking it? Not well, I suppose."  
  
She sighed and shook her head, leaning back into her seat. "Awful." she responded. "Even before she left, Sakura-chan was the only one who could really bring him out to talk... Now that she's gone, he's shut up into himself completely. Nobody knows where he is half the time. He's not going to his classes, and Kinomoto-san says he only comes home for meals."  
  
"Oh?" Eriol responded. "Fujitaka-san? How is he?"  
  
And so they talked. Sakura had bought the house that Eriol used to live in. She'd been living there with her father and Syaoran- Touya and Yukito were travelling. Rika and Terada-sensei were married; Chiharu and Takeshi were dating. Sakura's magic had been getting steadily stronger since he'd last seen her. She'd remarked to Tomoyo only a month or so ago that she'd been using the Clow Cards to keep an eye on Tomoeda. The subject of Syaoran they left well alone.  
  
"And what about on your end, Eriol-kun?" she asked him after they'd exhausted the subject of life at home. "You're keeping Nakuru-san and Spinel in England, I guess, you told me as much over the phone- what have you been doing in the last few years?"   
  
"I'm doing odd magic jobs." he replied. "Research and such. I'm thinking of writing a book, maybe- money's not an issue, Clow kept plenty in the bank."  
  
"How's Kaho?"  
  
***  
  
She'd told him it was for the best.   
  
"I'm old," she'd said, laughing as tears slipped from her eyes. "I'm old and I'll be even older before the end. You know I love you, but in this case that doesn't matter. Where will we be in ten years? I don't know how you'll treat me... I don't know how I'll treat you. For all of our similarities, Eriol, I don't think it'll work. I have to say goodbye."  
  
He'd been furious. It was the only time he could ever remember being angry. It had rained- lighting, high wind, the weather itself mirroring his feelings- the sheer force of his emotion had shattered the dishes and brought shelves to the floor. Ruby and Spinel had been absolutely terrified.  
  
It wasn't her he blamed. It was himself. He should have known better than to expect so much. Maybe she was right, or maybe not. The fact remained that he loved her and she was gone. Nothing could change that.  
  
So he came to Tomoeda. He didn't know what he would do, or where he would stay, or where he would go after he left. There wasn't anywhere else he could go.  
  
***  
  
"We broke up." he responded quickly. "I don't know where she is. We haven't kept in touch."  
  
Tomoyo winced. "I didn't see that coming. I'm sorry."  
  
He waved his hand in a brief dismissal of the subject. "It's fine. I'm feeling better now that I'm back in Tomoeda." He blinked as the limo stopped, and looked out to see his old house. "Why are we stopping here, Tomoyo-san?"  
  
"Well, I assumed that you would stay here- Kinomoto-san's not going to mind, and the only hotels around here are the kind you don't go to alone. And none of them are in town, either." She smiled cheerfully and gestured towards the door as though that settled it.  
  
Raise of an eyebrow. "Tomoyo-san, I'm rather hurt. Naturally I thought that you would be kind enough to let me stay with you."  
  
"I would," she started, laughing, "but I don't think Naoko-chan would approve. Out you go."  
  
Eriol opened the door before the name really registered in his mind, stepped out onto the sidewalk, and did a doubletake. "Naoko?" The limo had already driven off, and Tomoyo with it, before he could inquire as to why exactly she was staying with the ghost story girl.  
  
Shaking his head, he walked to the porch and rang the doorbell. It opened to a cheerful smile and an apron. Kinomoto Fujitaka was still good looking, although greying around the temples, and excessively likeable. "Eriol-kun!" he greeted. "I'd heard you were coming back."  
  
"That's right. You look well, Kinomoto-san." Old speech habits were hard to break, even when talking to someone who was for all purposes one's twin brother. "I'm sorry to impose, but may I stay here while I'm visiting?"  
  
Another beaming smile. "Of course! You're not imposing at all, Eriol-kun. Come in! Can I carry your bagga... oh, where's your baggage?"  
  
Eriol looked down to his side, where his luggage should have been, and realized suddenly that the fact that had been nagging at him since he left England was that he had left his luggage behind him. It seemed that Kaho's forgetful nature had been wearing off on him all those years.   
  
He stepped into the house, taking his shoes off, and glanced nervously at Fujitaka. "I guess I forgot it back home. Pretty stupid of me, don't you think?" A worried laugh. "I don't suppose you have any clothing I could borrow until I can go and buy some?"  
  
Sakura's father thought for a moment. "Hm. I'd offer Syaoran-kun's clothing, but I think it would be a bit too small. And of course what Sakura-chan left behind is out of the question. I have some old things up in the attic that I think would fit you. Feel free to wear them."  
  
"Thank you very much." replied Eriol, nodding his head respectfully. "I really am very sorry."  
  
Fujitaka laughed. "Don't think about it. I don't quite understand you that well, Eriol-kun... But you're welcome in this house. And I've always been grateful for that magic you gave me."  
  
Eriol shook his head. "I was glad to give it up, Kinomoto-san. You don't need to thank me." Offering one last small smile, he walked up the old stairs. Stepping over the ones that creaked- there were more than there had been nine years ago- he made his way into the attic.  
  
Dust assailed his lungs as he climbed up into the stuffy room. The only light came from the window; he smiled and quickly admired the tone of almost-sunset sky. His eyes fell onto someone he hadn't expected to see.  
  
Syaoran Li dozed in an ancient looking chair near the window. The last few rays of sun fell onto his eyelids and almost managed to erase the dark shadows under them. The Chinese boy had stayed the same in a way that was almost amusing. He was still only a little taller than Sakura would be now, still thin and thick-eyebrowed and awkward. Eriol could almost have laughed.  
  
In his hands Syaoran was clutching a photo album. It was obvious that he'd fallen asleep while looking through it- and really not surprising; he probably hadn't been sleeping much lately. Eriol, curious despite himself, stalked across the attic floor to his chair and attempted to take the book without waking him up.  
  
It didn't work. The brown-haired boy's eyes snapped open and a look of almost abject terror came into his eyes as he failed to recognize Eriol. Clutching the book like it was a child, he hissed wordlessly in anger.  
  
"Don't worry," Eriol said, taking a few careful steps back and talking soothingly as if to a pet. "I'm not going to hurt you. It's Eriol. Hiiragizawa Eriol."  
  
Syaoran, after taking a moment to fully wake up, scowled at him. "I knew that." he muttered sheepishly.  
  
Adopting the tone he usually took when talking to Syaoran- mildly superior, affectionate, and calculated to annoy his cute relation- Eriol smiled at him. "You don't look very happy, Li-kun. And after I came all the way to Tomoeda just to see your lovely face."  
  
"... Leave me alone." responded Syaoran as he turned away to face the window. It didn't really look like any more conversation was forthcoming, so Eriol shrugged and opened the nearest box to look for the clothing.  
  
After a moment of rummaging, he found serviceable jeans and a shirt. Syaoran very pointedly didn't look as he changed and folded the clothes he'd been wearing. At least it fit- it would, considering that Fujitaka would have looked like Eriol when he was this age.  
  
Syaoran turned from the window and muttered an unintelligible question. Eriol turned to look at him and managed a rather sincere smile. "Sorry, didn't catch that. What did you say?"  
  
"I said..." repeated the brunette, avoiding looking at him, "why are you here?"  
  
Pausing to think, Eriol frowned slightly before realizing himself and smiling even brighter and faker.  
  
"Well, you've got me there. I don't really know myself."  
  
***  
  
Dinner was quiet. Eriol and Fujitaka had attempted conversation once or twice, but the silence radiating from the other occupant of the table was so thick that it was difficult to speak. The meal was simple. He was sitting where Sakura had. What was there to talk about?  
  
Nadeshiko came in, balancing a plate of cookies on one spectral hand. Not surprisingly she hadn't changed much in the three years since he'd seen her last. She beamed and put the cookies on the table as if it was a great accomplishment. "It's hard to cook and carry things when you're not really here," she said with a giggle.  
  
"Oh!" exclaimed Eriol. "Nadeshiko-san... Hello. How are you?"  
  
The angelic figure burst into even worse giggles. "Dead." she responded cheerfully, idly wrapping her arms around Fujitaka. "No, no, I'm fine. It gets easier all the time, to visit and to act normally... And you, Eriol-kun?"  
  
"I'm doing well." responded Eriol. It wasn't entirely true, but then telling the truth had never really been his thing. "And how is it up there? Anything big going on?"  
  
Fujitaka smiled and shook his head. "You're still at that? I don't think she's ever going to tell you about it, Eriol-kun, you've been trying for as long as she's known you and it's gotten you nowhere."  
  
"Can I help it if I have an inquiring mind?" asked Eriol amusedly. "Besides, I'm sure we'd all sleep safer at night knowing what life after death is like. Not to mention I could make millions on it."   
  
The conversation continued- little things, safe things. It was hard to remember that the woman was dead. Syaoran, who had been silent as they bantered back and forth, rose from his chair. "Thank you for the food." he said quietly, walking away towards the front door.   
  
Nadeshiko bit her lip as she stared after him. "I'm worried about that boy. It's not healthy to be so reserved." she whispered, serious for the first time in the conversation. "Eriol-kun, do promise me you'll try to talk to him. I don't really know why..." A pause, slight unwillingness to speak her daughter's name, "... Why she left, but she's gone and he needs to accept that."  
  
Fujitaka sighed tiredly. "Sometimes I think he depended on Sakura-chan a bit too much," he muttered, running his fingers through his wife's hair.  
  
"I don't know if he'll listen to me, even if I do talk to him." responded Eriol with a cynical smile. "He doesn't like me. He's never gotten over the fact that I used to cozy up to Sakura-san; nevermind that it was nine years or so ago and I didn't really mean it."  
  
Nadeshiko smiled back and raised an eyebrow. "'Cozy up', Eriol-kun?" she asked amusedly. "I'm not sure I like the idea of you getting fresh with my little girl."  
  
"It was a long time ago!" mock-protested Eriol. "I have nothing but the best intentions towards Sakura-san, I assure you!" He sighed. "All that aside, the point remains- he hates me and he's not going to listen to me."  
  
"I don't know about that." mused Nadeshiko slowly. "Some things it's better to hear from someone you don't like. Preferable, even. Not as hard to cope with."  
  
Fujitaka turned to her in surprise, and then grinned. "When did you get so smart, Nadeshiko-san?" he asked playfully, tugging on her cheek as she giggled. "What happened to the sweet little airhead I used to know?"   
  
"She died, of course." responded Nadeshiko. The woman went blank for a moment, as if listening to someone, and then smiled sheepishly. "I have to go now." she murmured. "Take care of yourself until next time, Eriol-kun."  
  
"I will." responded the black haired boy. "And I'll try to cheer him up a bit... But I still think it might be a better idea to get Tomoyo-san or somebody other than me to do it."  
  
"Maybe, maybe not." the angel woman said flippantly. She circled around Fujitaka's chair and leaned into the hollow of his neck. "I love you." she whispered into his ear.  
  
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her shoulders as her body began to disappear. "And I you."  
  
***  
  
Eriol made his way up the stairs, paging through his knowledge of the house for a suitable bedroom. Sakura and Syaoran would be bedding there, Fujitaka there, and that left one other room for him to claim... Pleased, he walked into his temporary bedroom.  
  
To find it belonged to Syaoran. The room was painted red and almost completely empty, one window and a dresser and precious little else. On the dresser was a picture- Syaoran and Sakura, a carnival photo, she beaming and he with a protective arm around her shoulder. The bed took up almost half the room but gave the impression that only one person ever slept in it. And that person was curled up in fetal position at one end of the bed.  
  
Before Eriol could say anything, Syaoran sprang up off the pillow and stared at him with the fierce intensity of a wild animal. "Why are you in my room?" he growled, like Eriol had seen something he shouldn't have.  
  
"I needed a room for the night." replied Eriol, attempting what he hoped was a calming smile. "I thought this room would be empty. You and Sakura-san didn't share a room, then?"  
  
"No." muttered Syaoran, flushing and turning his face to the wall.  
  
The other boy smiled. "Alright, then. My mistake. I'll have to sleep in Sakura-san's room."  
  
"No!" yelled Syaoran suddenly, whipping around and looking as though he had every intention of killing Eriol right then and there. He then blinked as if he hadn't quite meant to say that. "Uh... I mean... No. Don't stay in there. I don't want someone like you getting into her stuff."  
  
"Well," asked Eriol, slightly impatient, "where else am I going to stay tonight?"  
  
Syaoran bit his lip and grimaced. "In here," he muttered in a voice which stated clearly that he didn't like doing this at all. "You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."  
  
"You can take the bed." said Eriol politely. "I'm just fine on the floor."  
  
The Chinese boy sighed, apparently having decided that if he was going to martyr himself like this he might as well do it all the way. "No." he responded sulkily. "You can take the bed. Really. Go ahead." So take it before I make you, his eyes said.  
  
Eriol shrugged. "Alright, then. But only if you agree to switch places tomorrow night, Li-kun." He pulled a pillow from the bed, pulling off his glasses and attempting to make himself comfortable on the carpet. He'd slept on floors plenty of times before.   
  
"It's... cold down there." muttered Syaoran sheepishly, tossing him a sheet and turning off the light before settling back into bed. "Goodnight." he added as an afterthought.   
  
Eriol nodded. "Thank you." He whispered. "Goodnight."   
  
Later that night, in the moonlit darkness, he could hear Syaoran crying in his sleep. It was a sound like an animal's howl and vaguely unnerving.   
  
***  
  
Going, going, gone. Halfway across the world she hummed softly to the radio and pondered the frailties of the human heart over a cup of coffee. Rainclouds were forming outside the house.  
  
"Hey, Kero-chan..." she started. "Do you think that I was right?"  
  
"How am I supposed to know?" he asked, turning briefly away from the video game he was currently playing. "It was your decision. Maybe I wish you hadn't done it, Sakura-chan, but I'm with you all the way."  
  
"Nevermind. I was just wondering about it."  
  
She turned to the window, nails drumming against the glass, and gave a contentedly bitter sigh. She had hoped that America would be warmer this time of year. "I was wearing the nicest dress that day, you know. Tomoyo-chan made it for me, and it was blue and sort of frilly. I can remember every detail."  
  
I just want to say hello again, sang the radio in the background.  
  
END OF 1/3 


	2. I Remember

Disc: I don't own CCS. Or, for that matter, Creed. Not too sorry about that last one, though. In fact, there are a lot of things in this fic I don't own!  
AN: Many apologies for the lateness of the chapter. I could have been done a lot sooner up I wasn't so lazy. Also, several times during the fic I ended up trading in-character dialouge for witty banter, but everyone likes witty banter so that's okay. Today, we learn about... absolutely nothing. And chinese food! I could really go for some of that right now... *badly off topic rantings* Enjoy the show! Or something.  
  
MY SACRIFICE  
2: I REMEMBER  
  
Eriol woke up to the sunshine on his face and a very unpleasant backache. Sitting up on the carpet, he noted that Syaoran was gone already and that he had sheet marks down one side of his arm. He reached for his glasses- they were somewhere on the floor, surely- and put them on once he found them.  
  
The clock on the wall told him it was quarter to ten. He'd slept in later than usual. Nakuru had always managed to sneak into his room and pounce him before seven. He wondered what his two companions were doing right now- thinking about him, probably. They hadn't understood why he had to go to Tomoeda. But then again he didn't either, so it evened out.   
  
He got up off the floor, stretched his arms, and started out of the room and downstairs. The clothes he had slept in weren't particularly dirty, and he wasn't about to impose on Fujitaka in asking to lend him anything else to wear.  
  
"Good morning, Eriol-kun!" greeted the man, smiling and carrying large amounts of laundry. "It seems you slept well."  
  
He smiled back. "It seems I did. Where's Li-kun?"  
  
Fujitaka sighed. "I'm not the best person to ask." he replied, frowning. "He left just as I was getting up. He could be anywhere by now."  
  
"Ah. Nevermind, then." Eriol smiled brighter, although slightly annoyed. It seemed it was going to be quite a struggle to find his cute relation at any given time. "Is there anything I can do to help you around here?"  
  
He shook his head. "That's alright. I wouldn't impose on a guest." He started towards the laundry room, then stopped and glanced at Eriol again. "Oh! That's right, I forgot. Daidouji Tomoyo called you to see if you'd like to have lunch together. Her number's on the callback."  
  
Eriol nodded, walking to the phone and humming tunelessly as he pressed the button and the dial tone rang. "Hm? Oh, Eriol-kun?" asked Tomoyo on the other end. "I'm sorry, I'm in a meeting right now... Oh, about lunch."  
  
"That's right. I'd love to have lunch together, thank you... Where's your house?"  
  
She gave him the address, he wrote it down and folded it into his pocket. "It's within walking distance, so don't worry. If you're early Naoko-chan will open up the door for you. Yes, Tanaka, just a second. Don't interrupt your superiors on the phone... No, it's not-"   
  
Before he could question her- again- about their former classmate's exact position in her life, she said a hurried goodbye and hung up.  
  
Eriol shrugged philosophically. If she wanted him to know, assumedly he would find out once he got to the house and saw Naoko again. Waving to Fujitaka, he pulled on his shoes and started walking for the address.  
  
The sun was out, the day was warm enough for autumn. The town was fairly quiet save an occasional person or two walking past him. He started to hum. Honestly, sometimes life in the town was a little too boring for his tastes. He would have been thrilled to stay there instead of heading back to London, if occasionally something would happen...  
  
As he walked through a park, smiling at the children who ran past attempting to fly a kite, his eyes caught on a flurry of movement in the more sucluded area. He walked over and blinked to see Syaoran fighting within a grove of trees.  
  
Or maybe fighting with them would be a better word. The chinese boy whirled around, turning as though to face some enemy behind him, and struck at the branches with the sword he was still using. It fell to the ground as he jumped and sliced a falling gold leaf neatly in two.  
  
Impressed despite himself, Eriol leaned against a maple and continued watching. Syaoran's movements were graceful and well coordinated. Obviously he'd improved in the three years they'd last seen each other.  
  
Syaoran turned again and snarled as he saw him. Rushing to the tree he pulled the sword up against his throat. "What the hell are you doing here...!?" he growled.  
  
Eriol, noticing finally the tears in the other boy's eyes, remained calm even as the blade grazed his skin. "I was walking." he said quietly. "I saw you practicing, and was watching for a few minutes. Please put the weapon away before someone gets hurt."  
  
As a few drops of blood fell onto Eriol's shirt, Syaoran came to his senses and lowered the sword with an expression of vague horror on his face. "I'm sorry," he managed as if the words were choking him.  
  
"That's alright." replied Eriol, smiling and nodding as though he wasn't just about to be decapitated. "It looks like you've gotten quite a bit better with that since we last met, hm?"  
  
"I probably couldn't beat you, though," muttered Syaoran as he wiped the slightly bloody edge on the dry grass and started half-heartedly swiping at the leaves again.  
  
Eriol shrugged. "Who knows? I'm afraid I haven't been fighting at all. I'm probably rusty enough that you could." Calling a sword up from somewhere, knowing fully that it was a dumb idea to waste power on impressing his cute relative, he too began attacking the leaves.  
  
Glancing at him and smiling ferally, Syaoran moved into an attacking stance. "Let's go."  
  
"Can't," responded Eriol, letting the sword disolve and smiling. "I'm having lunch with Tomoyo-san in a while, and I don't think she'd be very happy if I showed up bleeding and spewing intestines all over her carpet." He caught a falling leaf and played with it as he talked. "Some other time, maybe. Do you come here often?"  
  
Nodding, Syaoran continued his one sided fight. Eriol blinked- was it just him, or did the chinese boy just slice that leaf widthwise?- but decided that if he was going to attempt making conversation he might as well continue with it. "Instead of going to classes, I guess." At another nod, he sighed. "What's your major?"  
  
"Don't have one," was the response, quiet as it may have been. "I'm first year. I don't know what I want to do yet." He sighed too and sheathed his sword.   
  
"And Sakura-chan's?"  
  
A growl, and what might have been a fresh tear. "You have no right to say her name."  
  
Eriol sighed yet again. The whole situation was going around in circles, and he couldn't really help Syaoran if the boy didn't want to be helped. "She's gone, you know." he said quietly.  
  
"You think I don't know that?" asked Syaoran, kicking a tree and catching a stray tear with his tongue. "I know that. Nobody knows that better than I do." He gave a small choked noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob. "Now go."  
  
He left, of course. The crying made him vaguely uncomfortable for some reason.  
  
***  
  
Tomoyo's house was a comfortable, classy little thing- white and modern with a lot of windows and balconies. Eriol wondered briefly why she hadn't just stayed at her mother's mansion instead of buying a new house as he rang the doorbell.  
  
"Come in!" said Naoko cheerfully, hurriedly answering the door.  
  
If nobody else had changed very much, Naoko certainly had. She still wore glasses, although they were slightly less obtrusive. Her hair was long and almost feathery and lighter brown, although still framing her face. She wore no makeup and gave the impression of someone just coming to terms with the fact that they were beautiful.  
  
She blinked. "Eriol-kun? Oh, that's right! Tomoyo-chan said you were visiting. I'll get you some lunch, I guess her meeting's running late..."  
  
"That's fine." replied Eriol, taking off his shoes and stepping inside.  
  
Naoko, leading him into the kitchen and the bright sunlight the window gave, started poking through the fridge. "Sit down, please... We've got some instant ramen, bits and pieces of the lasagna Tomoyo-chan made last night... Um, I baked some bread the other day, and there's sandwich filling in the cupboard."  
  
"A sandwich would be wonderful." replied Eriol politely, looking at the refridgerator door. He'd found it was one of the things that you could tell people by. This one held fridge magnets, family photos, and some business dates- nothing with the answer he was looking for.  
  
"Right!" Naoko said cheerfully, closing the door and taking a loaf of bread from one of the cupboards. "So," she started, cutting off two pieces of bread and spreading them methodically, "Eriol-kun, how are you doing?"  
  
He smiled again. "Couldn't be better." The girl had never been very close to him, and he had no qualms about lying shamelessly to her; he might have done the same even to Tomoyo if not for the fact that she knew things eventually anyway. "Yourself? College, I assume?"  
  
Naoko nodded as she slid the sandwich onto a plate. "College and work, yes. I'm thinking of becoming a teacher, actually... People tell me I'm good with children, and it would be a lot of fun."  
  
"Work?"  
  
"Mm, I'm paying my own way through school." She handed him the plate, smiling sheepishly. "I sell shoes. It's not a great job, I guess, but the pay isn't very bad."  
  
Eriol raised an eyebrow. "A shoe saleswoman, hm? I always figured you'd be a librarian." He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed, smiling.  
  
"So did everyone else." responded Naoko, sounding a little bit guilty. "I tried it for a while, and I really liked it, but..." She trailed off, shrugging, and Eriol decided to leave it alone. Some things were better untouched.  
  
He nodded. "At least you tried it. The important part is to try many different things when you're young, you know."  
  
"Does that apply to you too, Eriol-kun?" replied Naoko, laughing slightly.  
  
Eriol laughed in response, shrugging. "I suppose it does, come to think of it." He smiled at her and wondered how to bring up the subject as delicately as possible. "Naoko-san, about you and To-"  
  
The front door opened and closed again. "I'm back!" shouted Tomoyo's voice as her footsteps echoed down the hall.  
  
"Welcome home!" yelled Naoko back. Eriol blinked as her face lit up like a star. "Tomoyo-chan, Eriol-kun's already here! I got him something to eat!" She almost bounded to the hall. "I've got to go to work now, so I'll see you for dinner."  
  
Tomoyo nodded and gave her a light peck on the cheek, causing the brown-haired girl to blush furiously. "See you then," she replied, watching and waving as Naoko put on her shoes and headed out the door.  
  
"Hello." said Eriol simply, raising an eyebrow at her as she sat down across from him at the kitchen table. "Since when?"  
  
She shrugged philosophically. "It's been almost a year now, I think. She didn't really want to live in mother's house, so we ended up moving." Getting up to fetch herself a glass of water, she turned to look at Eriol over her shoulder. "I suppose a bit of surprise would be too much to ask?"  
  
"Surprise isn't healthy." replied Eriol cheerfully, finishing his sandwich. "It dulls the mind and gives you early wrinkles. Concealing it was one of the things Clow Reed learned early. Why and how?"  
  
Sitting back down, Tomoyo took a sip of her water and smiled. "Why isn't really your business, Eriol-kun, as much as you know I hate to keep things from you... As to how," a small smirk flittered across her face, "let's just say it involved a very expensive hotel room, some very good wine, and several orgasms."  
  
Both parties burst into rather amused laughter, Eriol's low chuckle complementing his companion's high tones. "You know," he started in an attempt to stop, "you just gave me about six early wrinkles. Tomoyo-san, I didn't even know you had it in you to say things like that, let alone do them..."  
  
"Never underestimate a Daidouji." replied the plum-haired woman, displaying a rare grin. "It leads to a dull mind. I don't suppose Clow knew *that* one."  
  
Eriol, after he finished laughing, heaved a suddenly tired sigh. "I don't suppose you love her, do you." he said without any real question. "Not if you're still watching and waiting like you were since I knew you. It's quite cruel of you, Tomoyo-san."  
  
Tomoyo merely bit her lip. "You're right." she replied, after a long pause. "You're right... But sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I'm doing this to make things right. I'd really rather avoid the subject."  
  
"That's your choice." said Eriol diplomatically, deciding a change of subject was probably wise. "You know, I saw Li-kun on the way here. He was mincing up the foliage. Kinomoto-san and his wife want me to try and help him... do you have any ideas?"  
  
"Not one." said Tomoyo, as if automatically. "I've been thinking about it, you know." She sighed and shook her head. "No matter how hard I try, I just... you of all people should know how much he loved Sakura-chan."  
  
Eriol nodded slowly. "Still." he started. "If he loves her, he should let go. She'd hate to see him like this."  
  
"Of course she would." Tomoyo allowed herself a brief sentimental smile. "That's the kind of person Sakura-chan is."  
  
Getting up from his chair, Eriol started to pace the room. "The only real way I can see is to help him forget about her. How can we do that? Get him going back to college, maybe? He needs some sort of goal in life." He frowned. "I guess I could cast a simple spell of some kind."  
  
Tomoyo shook her head. "Would that really help him?"  
  
"It wouldn't, you're absolutely right." The boy shook his head. "You're right... This is a rather troublesome situation. I'll just have to keep talking to him until I can find a solution."  
  
She nodded. They talked for a while more, about simple things that didn't really matter, about safe things like what he would write another book about and her fashion line for next summer. Eventually, as the clock on the wall read five, he shrugged at her and said that he should probably be heading back. She nodded, and he shoved on his shoes to start walking home.  
  
He didn't look up when another set of footsteps joined his own. "Hello." said Syaoran quietly, walking next to him with his sword slung over his shoulder.  
  
"Hello." said Eriol cheerfully in reply. "Have you had a good day, Li-kun?"  
  
The Chinese boy didn't answer, which wasn't surprising at all. "Is Daidouji well?" he asked, looking at the trees as they walked past them.  
  
"She's fine. So's Naoko-san. You haven't seen her lately?" Shake of the head. "Tomoyo-san's a very nice person, isn't she?" Nod nod. "You should talk to her a bit more. I'm sure she misses you." Shrug. "Li-kun, please use your words. I feel like a grade school teacher."  
  
Syaoran looked vaguely embaressed. "I don't really have anything to say." he said quietly. "Um... I don't know... is she well?"  
  
"You mean Kaho, right?" asked Eriol cheerfully, having long ago realized that Syaoran never called people by any name if he could possibly avoid it. "I don't know. I suppose she is. We broke up a few weeks ago."  
  
"Sorry." he replied, keeping in step.  
  
Eriol shook his head. "It's fine. Nothing to be sorry about- it's not like you caused it, Li-kun, even if I do love you the most in the world any day."  
  
The boy blushed- he smiled, at least some things could still make him react nonviolently- and averted his eyes. "Stop that. You know what I meant, Hiiragizawa. I'm just sorry it happened. I thought you two would keep going forever."  
  
"So did I." responded Eriol, almost having to make an effort in keeping his voice even. He grinned as a sudden idea struck him. "Li-kun, let's go out for dinner!"  
  
The boy blinked. "Right now?"  
  
"No time like the present. I've got enough on me to treat you, and you need to eat and so do I. We'll go for Chinese. You like Chinese, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It's settled, then. Let's go."  
  
Syaoran shrugged out a semi-nod, and Eriol sighed inwardly in relief. At least he was making a bit of progress this time.  
  
***  
  
The restaurant they ended up at was fairly classy, although not so much that they refused to let the two young men have a table. As they sat down, they were approached by one Mihara Chiharu in a heavily Chinese dress. She smiled at them, snapping her fingers.  
  
"Uh..." she started. "You're... Hiiragizawa-kun, right?" He nodded, and she smiled. "Yeah, I thought you looked familiar." Staring at Syaoran, she managed to pretend the sword he was carrying didn't exist. "Li-kun too! I haven't seen you for the longest time. How've you be- No, I'm sorry, that's not the best question to ask... Um... Can I get you some drinks?"  
  
Eriol shot her a dazzling smile. "Just water, thanks." He did have money, but drinks usually cost more than they were worth. "For him too."  
  
"Who says I just want water?" muttered Syaoran to himself.  
  
"When I'm paying, you do." replied Eriol.  
  
Chiharu laughed. "Okay. I'll be back to take your orders in a bit." She placed two menus on the table and departed.  
  
Eriol turned to Syaoran, who was scanning the menu. "Anything I should avoid on pain on death?" he asked cheerfully.  
  
"I'm not the one you should ask..." replied Syaoran. "This isn't Chinese cooking, really. I mean, it started out traditional, but now it's almost totally different from what I used to eat at home." He smiled, a tiny little thing that nevertheless brightened his face. "I remember thinking it was so strange when I first came to Japan."  
  
He nodded. "That's very true. Most things change when they're brought over to other cultures." He pointed to a random kanji on the menu. "For instance, how do you pronnounce that in Chinese?"  
  
And so they talked about language. The conversation was interesting, and not at all one sided- it seemed that Syaoran talked easier about things that didn't directly involve him. By the time Chiharu came around for the orders they sounded like normal friends.  
  
"I'll have what he's having." said Syaoran quietly.  
  
Eriol mock frowned. "Li-kun, that's supposed to be my line. Hm... I'll get the beef chop suey, please, Mihara-san."  
  
"Okay..." replied Chiharu, dutifully writing it down. "At least you didn't get the szechwan soup. You don't want to know what they put in that stuff, you really don't."  
  
Syaoran, looking mildly preturbed, watched as she walked away to the next table. "What *do* they..."  
  
"Your guess is as good as mine." responded Eriol cheerfully. "I'm no expert when it comes to food."  
  
Dinner was good. Eriol had occasional problems getting used to chopsticks again- he would have assumed he'd remember it by now- but the food was nice and it seemed Syaoran was finally warming up to him a bit.  
  
"I'll pay." said Eriol cheerfully when the bill came. Syaoran opened his mouth to protest, and he shook his head. "No, don't worry. I said I had plenty of money, didn't I? Besides, Li-kun, you've payed me enough by being such a wonderful conversationalist!"  
  
Syaoran shrugged. "Alright, then."  
  
As the two exited the restaurant, Eriol looked up into the sky. It was dark, of course, and speckled with the same stars that were shining in London right now. "Nice night." commented Syaoran shyly, breathing in the cold air.  
  
"Indeed it is." replied Eriol. "But it's much too late to be going home now... Say, Li-kun, we might as well find ourselves a hotel and stay there tonight!" He grinned. "I have just enough to get us a nice room. With soundproof walls, even."  
  
The Chinese boy actually laughed a little, rolling his eyes. "Hiiragizawa..." he started. Eriol had to lock his jaw to make sure it didn't fall open.  
  
"Alright, alright." responded Eriol. "But it was worth a try. By the way, Li-kun... You don't have to call me that, if you don't want to. 'Eriol' is just fine. I'm at least used to my first name from Nakuru."  
  
Syaoran paused for a moment, visably thinking. "Okay." he said, somewhat reluctantly. "Eriol, then-"  
  
A soft meow came from the pavement. The two looked down to see a tiny black cat, looking at them soulfully. Eriol smiled and picked it up. "Hello." he said to it. "You're looking for food, I suppose. Can't really help you there." The cat purred happily as he stroked its fur.  
  
"Funny." commented Syaoran thoughtfully. "I've been seeing a lot of cats like that around lately... I think the first time I saw one was-" His eyes went wide for a few seconds, and he almost growled at Eriol.  
  
"Li-kun?" asked Eriol, blinking.  
  
The Chinese boy said nothing, but ran out into the night like someone was after him.  
  
If Eriol had thought about it, he could probably have come up with a tirade bad enough to bleach hair. "Damn it." he muttered tiredly, absent-mindedly petting the cat in his arms. "I guess you don't know what's going on here, hm."  
  
"Mrow." the cat responded, jumping away from him and stalking off. Eriol shrugged, disheartened, and started off for Fujitaka's house.  
  
Most of the lights were off when he got home. Eriol assumed it was close to midnight- he'd spent a lot of time just standing in place thinking on the way home. It was odd the way time moved in small towns.  
  
The door was open, thankfully. He took off his shoes and walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Syaoran was curled up on the floor, sound asleep but looking decidedly uncomfortable. Eriol sighed- appearently he'd decided to keep the agreement- and sat down beside him.  
  
He sat that way for a while, just looking. Syaoran's eyes were red-rimmed as they always seemed to be; a few strands of hair fell across his face. He reached over and brushed them off. The light from the window illuminated the tears still in his eyes. Eriol wiped them away, gently, careful not to let Syaoran wake up. The Chinese boy rolled over and murmured something.  
  
Eriol shrugged, getting up and lifting Syaoran into his arms. He placed him on the bed, tucking the cover in over him. He then sprawled onto the carpet and fell asleep in minutes.  
  
***  
  
"I've read the bible!" sang Amy loudly, dancing around with her hairbrush. "I've read Dylan! I'm reading people now, because it's much... more... chilling!"  
  
She winced and turned away. The American girl didn't seem to know how to deal when people cried, and it would be much to uncomfortable if she noticed. "Sorry, but please quiet down a bit? I need to study for the grammar test..."  
  
"Sure, Sakura... Y'know, sometimes I end up forgetting you're an ESL. You're just so... Dunno... not Asian."  
  
Shrug. "You're going out?"  
  
"Yep. With Mark... Oh, you don't know him, do you? He plays soccer." Amy winked. "And he has a lot of friends, if you catch my drift. You should come with me."  
  
Sakura shook her head. "I'm fine." she waved goodbye, smiling as the other closed the door and headed out.  
  
Almost instantly a number of shadows on the wall became solid, and she smiled again sadly. "I'm sorry I always keep you like this..." she started, breaking into fresh tears. "It's just so nice to have someone to talk to. Kero-chan doesn't know what to say, and neither do you, but... At least you all try..."  
  
The cards simply nodded and embraced her in varied textures of being.   
  
"Within my heart are memories, a perfect love that you shared with me..."  
  
END 2/3 


	3. When You Are With Me

Disc: Not mine.  
AN: And it's finally done. Or, uh, I wish I could say that, but I don't have the willpower to end things. So there'll probably end up being a sequel. If there's one thing I learnt from writing this, it's that Tomoyo will automatically abduct any fic she's in. Thank god a lot of the characters weren't in it. If there's another thing I learnt it's that sometimes it's really really hard to know whether you're explaining something too much or not enough. I think I was going to say something else, too, but now I can't remember. Uh, enjoy!  
  
MY SACRIFICE  
3: WHEN YOU ARE WITH ME  
  
Rolling over and yawning, Eriol awoke to discover he was being stepped over by the busy-bee ghost of Nadeshiko. He smiled at her, blinking and adjusting his glasses and trying to forget his dreams- strange, veiled things about emotions he couldn't quite place. "Good morning, Nadeshiko-san. How are you today?"  
  
The woman smiled back at him. "Actually, I'm great. Sometimes I wish I could go out shopping, you know... But it really can't be helped." She folded the messy covers on the bed back into place. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Very much so." replied Eriol, getting up off the floor and stretching. "Where's Li-kun?"  
  
She sighed. "Gone already, of course."  
  
"Right," Eriol responded a bit distractedly, walking downstairs as she floated after him. "I suppose he would be. Not all that smart to think otherwise..." He heaved a sigh. "I almost got through to him yesterday, but... this just isn't working, Nadeshiko-san."   
  
She nodded slowly. "Maybe you're not going at it the right way, then." she replied. "I have faith in your detective skills, at least. Maybe you need to look for a catalyst."  
  
"Hm? You think there was one?"  
  
"Don't I know my own daughter?" asked Nadeshiko, laughing quietly. "She doesn't do things without a reason, and she usually doesn't understand things until they're made clear. You just have to find some sort of trigger."  
  
Eriol thought for a moment. "Nadeshiko-san!" he exclaimed. "I didn't think you were that intelligent. That's actually very good advice."  
  
Nadeshiko smirked and hit him over the head. "Well, that's not very nice. Maybe I should just keep my good advice to myself, hm?"  
  
Fujitaka, carrying a laundry basket, greeted her with a hug. "Morning, Eriol-kun. Darling, could you hang these up outside? I'm doing the breakfast dishes."  
  
"Of course." she responded happily. "Anything to help my darling husband. Eriol-kun, have a nice day!"  
  
Eriol smiled. "You too," he replied, walking into the living room and sitting down in front of the empty fireplace. He had to wonder what had happened to his chair. It was probably in a dump somewhere by now- it was just the age to be junk and not an antique. It had been a good chair. Spinel had sat on the bookshelf, and Nakuru had just lounged on the floor. They'd been almost like family.  
  
Maybe he should send for them to come to Tomoeda. They both liked it here well enough, and it would be a nice change from the constant rain in London. Of course they didn't know yet that Sakura was gone-  
  
He sighed. Sakura again. Whatever train of thought he chose to follow, it seemed he couldn't really avoid the topic at hand. Nadeshiko said she'd needed a catalyst, and that was true enough... But how was he supposed to think of one? The only people who would know anything about it would be Sakura and Syaoran.  
  
Still, something was bothering him. Something Tomoyo had said when he'd first arrived here day before yesterday- something about Sakura? He shrugged, sighed, headed up off the floor and to the door. Might as well look for Syaoran as sit around and think.  
  
It wasn't all that hard to find him, now that he knew where to look. The Chinese boy lay in the same secluded part of the part, looking up at the sky and letting the leaves cover his face. Eriol smiled and sat down beside him. "Hello again, Li-kun. Nice day, isn't it?"  
  
"Mm." he replied sleepily. Brain making the connection, he jumped up as though stung by a wasp- no longer angry, really, only scared. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Eriol smiled indulgently. "Looking for you, of course, yet again. Maybe you should start thinking about a more interesting opening line, Li-kun. You're on repeat."  
  
Not allowing himself the smile that was almost on his lips, Syaoran frowned and turned away again. "I wouldn't have to say it so much if you'd leave me alone." he muttered.  
  
"Leave you alone?" asked Eriol in mock horror. "Perish the thought. How could I possibly leave anyone as sweet and delicate as you alone in the big cruel world?" He carefully avoided looking at the sword- it would probably make him fall over laughing. "I would never."  
  
Syaoran didn't laugh. If anything, he hunched into himself tighter. "Maybe you should. Don't you have anything better to do than bother me? I'm not worth the effort."  
  
"Sure you are." replied Eriol cheerfully. "Everyone else thinks so."  
  
The boy just frowned. "Leave me alone, Hiiragizawa."  
  
Eriol- sighing, he should have known better than to think the other would call him by his first name- looked up into the sky at the clouds passing. "I told you that you didn't have to call me that. It makes me uncomfortable. How would you feel if I kept calling you Xiaolang?" He stopped looking as the last of the clouds disappeared. "What are you afraid of?"  
  
"Nothing." said Syaoran quietly, pushing whisps of hair behind his ears. "I have nothing to be afraid of."  
  
Brushing a leaf off his shoulder, Eriol nodded thoughtfully. "But that's only because everything you were afraid of has already happened."  
  
Syaoran smiled bitterly. "Exactly."  
  
"Ah, Li-kun..." sighed Eriol theatrically. "The world is an awful place to be when you're in love."  
  
A glare, and the beginnings of another crying jag. "You're one to say that. How would you know? How could someone like you know how I feel? She was... she was everything to me, and..." Crying for real now. "God I loved her and now she's gone and I can't believe..."  
  
Eriol left, yet again, not wanting to see the tears. This time the guilt was almost a living thing- it seemed as though he was physically being dragged back. It was Tomoeda. These things could happen. Still, the right thing to do was just to leave. What comfort could he possibly be? What could he do to make Syaoran forget?  
  
His thoughts drifted to Kaho, somewhere in England moving on with life. Had he ever thought of her as the be-all end-all? He didn't think so. It was frankly a bit frightning to think a life could revolve around another person that entirely. But maybe, someday, he could have. In which case he might have understood her departure a bit better.  
  
It was only after he was well out of the park that he realized he had nowhere to go. He shrugged. If this was a vacation, and it really was, he should at least be seeing the sights or some such thing.  
  
Eriol went to the aquarium. It was amazing how little the place had changed. He swore that he could pick out the individual fish that had been there last time- could really have, with magic, but that would take away all the fun.   
  
Watching them was calming. Fish didn't have many problems in life- very straightforward ones, at the worst. They floated around and ate fish food and sometimes each other. He wondered idly if that made them happy. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he could see someone waving at him. He turned around, looking down at the resturaunt of the aquarium.  
  
Tomoyo sat at a table with Naoko. They were both grinning at him, laughing slightly and looking the picture perfect couple. They seemed to be trying to feed each other lunch and they were doing a good job of it. He walked downstairs to join them.  
  
"Eriol-kun!" started Naoko cheerfully. "What a surprise. I really never would have expected to see you here today."  
  
He shrugged, laughing. "It really is a small town. People I know seem to turn up everywhere I am. Tomoyo-san, Naoko-san, I hope you're both well?"  
  
"As well as can be expected. I assume the same goes for you." replied Tomoyo. She stabbed a piece of pasta with her fork and giggled as Naoko ate it. "You're just looking at the fish, then, Eriol-kun? They're cute, aren't they?"  
  
Eriol raised an eyebrow, taking a seat at the table along with them. "Cute wasn't exactly the word I would use."  
  
Naoko started to laugh again. "Sakura-chan used to call them cute. She'd try to imitate the pufferfish all the time." Smiling wistfully, she fed Tomoyo a spoonful of soup. "She did things like that all the time, I guess."  
  
"That's just who she was." replied Tomoyo, avoiding the other girl's eyes and throwing a half-guilty look at Eriol.   
  
He nodded. "Sakura-chan was always adorable."  
  
"Get something to eat!" started Naoko happily. She flagged a waiter and pointed at Eriol. "What would you like? Tomoyo-chan's treat. She has enough money as it is."  
  
Eriol smiled at the waiter and ordered the special without bothering to ask what it was. "So. We've covered how you two are, how I am, and the fish. How's work, Tomoyo-san?"  
  
"It's going great!" chirped the purple haired woman. "My latest line is... well, I took western dresses and ran with them." She grinned playfully. "A lot of ribbons, Eriol-kun, just because you seem to like them so much."  
  
Naoko smiled, pushing back her glasses and giving Tomoyo another spoonful. "She's shown me the sketches. They're beautiful dresses."  
  
Nodding, Tomoyo shot another playful grin at Naoko. "I want her to model for them. She's shy and tries to weasel out of it, but I think it would be fantastic- she has the figure for it, don't you think?"  
  
"Oh, definately." responded Eriol, playing along. "They call that a killer body."  
  
The girl blushed and shook her head. "You're joking. I'm not that good looking at all... Oh! Speaking of killer, have you heard? There was this college girl who bought a dress at a second hand store here a few weeks ago, and wore it to a party... And afterwards she just died!"  
  
Eriol raised an eyebrow. "Really?"  
  
"Really!" Naoko nodded emphatically. "Then the police did some research... And do you know what they found? The last person who owned the dress had been buried in it. Grave robbers pawned the dress."  
  
"Really..." replied Eriol evenly, trying not to laugh. The waiter arrived with the special- clam chowder. Seafood. He wondered for a moment if the dead fish at the aquarium got eaten.  
  
Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "You tell everyone that story, Naoko-chan. I thought you were more original."  
  
"Well, if it works..." Naoko looked at her watch and winced. "I thought so. My lunch break is over already. I have to go back to work." She smiled at Eriol and blushed as Tomoyo gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you both some other time. Don't have too much fun without me!"  
  
"We won't," responded Eriol quietly, watching her leave. He turned to Tomoyo and the two shared a brief, bitter smile. "You should talk to her. Explain. Pretending like that... you're not going to get anywhere."  
  
Tomoyo pulled Naoko's bowl over to her side of the table. "I think she knows already." The soup was half finished already, tomato, red like ketchup or blood. "Just because she keeps quiet doesn't mean she doesn't understand. It's not as if my feelings are a huge secret to anyone intelligent."  
  
"Keep telling yourself that." replied Eriol. "It might even be true." She stuck her tongue out at him childishly, and he laughed. The chowder was good.  
  
Scraping the bowl, she stood up and pushed her chair in. "Walk with me. I have something to show you."  
  
"Alright." replied Eriol, shrugging. He too stood up as he finished the last of the soup. "Fair enough, I suppose. Give me a hint?"  
  
"It's got to do with Syaoran, in some ways." she said, as they walked together out of the aquarium. "It's something Sakura did. I think it could turn out to be helpful. That's all you get to know until we get there."  
  
Eriol shrugged. "Where are we going?"  
  
His question was answered soon enough. Tomoyo led him to a bridge he had seen several times before- concrete but still almost pretty. She slipped down underneath the bridge and beckoned him to follow. Below lay several overturned crates, dirty blankets, and a bag of what looked like cat food. Tomoyo spilled the food onto the dirt and sat down on a crate.  
  
"It takes a while for them to get here." she said, shurgging. "The food gets them, even if they're not really cats. She told me about this before she left."  
  
Eriol raised an eyebrow. "Told you about what? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Tomoyo-san. Otherwise I'd swear you were going insane."  
  
"Don't worry." Tomoyo flashed him a smile. "There's no chance of me going insane when I've got normal people like you around me, is there, Eriol-kun?"  
  
"Of course not!" he responded, taking a seat on the unoccupied 'seat'. "What do we do while we wait?"  
  
Tomoyo mock-thought for a moment, pulling her thick braid around her shoulder and unplaiting it. "I don't know. Maybe we could... Oh, I've got a great idea. I'll tell you a story!"  
  
He smiled and nodded. "Please do."  
  
"Alright then! Once apon a time..."  
  
***  
  
...Naoko worked at the library. She dusted shelves, catagorized things, read to the children. She was seventeen at this point, voulenteering partly for work experience and partly because the books were nice and it was a job where she was actually encouraged to tell ghost stories. Most of the others were doing it only for the work experience. The Prince was one of them- Tomoyo almost spit the word out, saying his real name was a secret.  
  
The Prince was love at first sight for Naoko. He was handsome, gallant, laughed at her jokes and understood them. He liked horror. He liked ramen. He liked her. He swept her off her feet and into the sunset, her knight in shining armour- her very own Prince Charming. She adored him. She worshipped the ground beneath him.  
  
Which was why she ignored the occasional insults, the anger- he always apologized, and she always forgave him. So what if he didn't want her wearing makeup? So what if he insisted she wear clothes that covered everything worth showing? He just wanted her to stay away from other men, that wasn't so bad. He was The Prince. So what if he said she was stupid, ugly, worthless? He was being honest with her. Naoko moved in with him, then, and cleaned house occasionally and got hurt occasionally.  
  
She'd gotten extremely drunk one night and told Tomoyo about some of this, at the point where she was still allowed out of his house. And Tomoyo had nodded and listened and made her promise to give her weekly updates. They met at least that, and although Naoko smiled and lied cheerfully she couldn't hide the bruises all the time. Tomoyo always managed to get the huge formless sweaters off. They went swimming a lot, or sunbathing.  
  
One time she'd arrived at Tomoyo's house with a messily broken leg- at this point in the story, Tomoyo bit her lip hard in memory of the cast and the eternal smile- and as she babbled about how wonderful The Prince was she'd said that the next time they met would be the last. He didn't want her sneaking out of the house anymore. He wanted her safe, inside, with him.  
  
Tomoyo had nodded and listened and told her to meet her at one of the few posh hotels in Tomoeda. She had. And Tomoyo had taken her into the suite, wined and dined her, used every trick she had ever learnt in her life. She had that talent. She could manipulate people. That was all she could do to help.  
  
In the afterglow, she'd asked Naoko to break up with The Prince. The girl had hardly needed any convincing at all. There had been a restraining order. And they had lived ever after since.  
  
***  
  
Eriol blinked several times, slowly, then smiled and clapped. "That was a good story."  
  
"Wasn't it?" replied Tomoyo, having replaited her hair and tossed it over her shoulder again. "I like the bit with the hotel, myself."  
  
He nodded. "I think I understand now. And here I was think you were just playing with her..." He stopped as a 'meow' made its way to his ears.  
  
And looked around to see cats. There were at least twenty, all black, crawling over the food and batting paws at one another. The biggest lounged on blankets and purred contentedly. Tomoyo smiled and reached over to pet one. "See? I told you they came when you put food out."  
  
"Wonderful." responded Eriol, scratching another behind the ears. "I had no idea Sakura-san was so fond of strays. What do they do?"  
  
Tomoyo stood up and smiled. "You'll see. Sakura-chan said you just have to concentrate, and it works. I don't have any magic, so the system doesn't respond to me." She waved, slightly, and headed off. "I should go. Naoko will probably be home soon, and I'd hate it if she came back to an empty house."  
  
"Well, say hello for me." Eriol thought for a moment. "...You really do care about her, don't you?"  
  
"I'm not going to answer that question." Tomoyo replied, still smiling but with a rather contemplative look in her eyes. "I'll see you sometime, Eriol-kun. Take care."  
  
"I will. You too."  
  
He thought, for a while, as she walked off. Tomoyo was a kind person, really she was, but he knew that for the most part that kindness revolved around Sakura. To be manipulating someone into something for their own good... to be changing her life that much to save them... if it wasn't love, it was something close to it. Even if she seemed not to notice.  
  
He lifted one of the cats into his lap, watching it purr as he pet it. It was several seconds before he realized that it was the same cat he'd seen outside the resturaunt last night. Shrugging, he concentrated on the cat- the black fur, green eyes, anything.  
  
And was surprised when his eyes stopped showing the scene in front of him and started playing a scene like a video. It was blurry at times, and a bit scratchy, but it was easy enough to tell what was going on.  
  
[In front of CHIISANA CHUGOKU. Night. Two people. LI SYAORAN (Citizen), HIIRAGIZAWA ERIOL (Outoftowner).]  
  
SYAORAN: Nice night.  
  
ERIOL: Indeed it is. But it's much too late to be going home now... Say, Li-kun, we might as well find ourselves a hotel and stay there tonight! I have just enough to get us a nice room. With soundproof walls, even.  
  
SYAORAN: [laughs.] Hiiragizawa...  
  
ERIOL: Alright, alright. But it was worth a try. By the way, Li-kun... You don't have to call me that, if you don't want to. 'Eriol' is just fine. I'm at least used to my first name from Nakuru.  
  
SYAORAN: [appearently thinking.] Okay. Eriol, then-  
  
ERIOL: Hello. You're looking for food, I suppose. Can't really help you there.  
  
SYAORAN: Funny. I've been seeing a lot of cats like that around lately... I think the first time I saw one was- [suddenly on edge]  
  
ERIOL: Li-kun?  
  
[LI SYAORAN runs.]  
  
ERIOL: [tired and angry] Damn it. I guess you don't know what's going on here, hm.  
  
[END]  
  
And then Eriol's eyes refocused, and he stared at the kitten for a long time. "Sakura-san," he said, softly and with a hint of awe, "I have underestimated you." Tomoyo had said something about Sakura keeping an eye on Tomoeda. Nadeshiko had said to look for a catalyst.  
  
It wasn't hard to find the oldest cat- it was the biggest, the fattest, and the one hogging the most of the blankets. He picked it up and concentrated again.   
  
[TOMOEDA PARK. Day. Fairground. Two people. MISTRESS, LI SYAORAN (Citizen).]  
  
[MISTRESS walks back towards LI SYAORAN, after talking to someone near a photo booth.]  
  
MISTRESS: I got the pictures, Li-kun!  
  
SYAORAN: Great.  
  
MISTRESS: [happy] So what do you want to do now? We could go on the ferris wheel! Or the bumper cars! Or... what's wrong?  
  
SYAORAN: Nothing. I'm fine.  
  
MISTRESS: ...Are you sure?  
  
SYAORAN: Don't worry. I just don't like crowds that much.  
  
[MISTRESS and LI SYAORAN start walking. MISTRESS is humming.]  
  
SYAORAN: Uh... Sakura?  
  
MISTRESS: Yes?  
  
SYAORAN: Who was that you were talking to...?  
  
MISTRESS: Oh? He's an old friend of mine, I guess. He went to school with us for a little while. Why do you ask?  
  
SYAORAN: No, nevermind. It's okay.  
  
[MISTRESS and LI SYAORAN continue walking.]  
  
SYAORAN: It's just... you know I love you, right?  
  
MISTRESS: I know. I love you, too.  
  
SYAORAN: [shy] I mean... I worship you, even...  
  
[MISTRESS looks worried.]  
  
[END]  
  
He later wondered why it took him the few seconds it did for everything to fall into place. Once it started (catalyst realization departure parallel prince god sacrifice) it was like a puzzle coming together in fast forward.  
  
Eriol walked out from under the bridge and noted the sun. It was setting into the west, beautifully, and the first few stars were coming out. He cracked his knuckles, took a deep breath and smiled. It was a decidedly unpleasant smile. He knew exactly what he had to do.  
  
Syaoran was, surprisingly enough, home when he got back. The Chinese boy lay on the floor. He looked at him and scrambled up when Eriol entered the room. "What're you doing here?"  
  
"Li-kun!" Eriol exclaimed cheerfully. "Back so early?" He sat down on the bed, smiling.  
  
The other seemed to ignore the decidedly fake cheer and glare at him. "Do you have any problems with that?"  
  
He kept smiling. "No, actually. I wanted to talk to you." This was the hardest part- just seconds before anything actually happened, and he was starting to wonder if he shouldn't just let the matter go. After all, he really didn't care what happened to Syaoran.  
  
And then the aforementioned cute relation blinked and got out a small 'so talk' and he knew he had to go through with it. He wasn't cruel enough to be kind.  
  
There was surprisingly little resistance as Eriol leaned forward and kissed him- a sort of blush, a bit of a squirm. He broke the kiss for a moment to mutter something about it being okay and Syaoran was too shocked to really say anything. He shrugged, inwardly. The last thing he noticed before pulling them both down onto the bed was the cat in the window.  
  
***  
  
Eriol lay in bed, one arm around Syaoran's shoulder, and watched the other sleep. Syaoran's breathing was even. It was comforting.  
  
He was rather unsurprised when a cat crawled up onto his chest and started staring him down.  
  
[DORM ROOM. One person. MISTRESS.]  
  
MISTRESS: Hello, Eriol-kun! It's good to see you again. Miko-chan's been watching you for me, and it's been very interesting. America is nice. I'm learning a lot of english, and everyone's very helpful.   
  
[MISTRESS' happy look fades.]  
  
MISTRESS: Eriol-kun, thank you. Thank you very much. You've been such help. You know what's been going on now, right? Li-kun... he's such a good person. He loved me too much... he deserved more than that. That fear, I mean. Leaving was all I could do.  
  
[MISTRESS is starting to cry.]  
  
MISTRESS: Anyway, thank you. I hope we can k-keep in touch... I'm s-sorry... Miko-chan... stop recording, please...  
  
END  
  
When you are with me  
I'm free  
I'm careless  
I believe  
Above all the others  
We'll fly  
Which brings tears to my eyes  
My sacrifice 


End file.
